Malathionman's Chemical Shed

In case you didn't know, I have moved and hung up my Malathionman mask. Yes, it was a mask and not my real face. I have my own domain now. It is turfdad.com. Feel free to stop by and say hello.

Only here at “Malationman's Chemical Shed” will you see the horrors of a family shower posted for the worlds to see! My wife would kill me if she knew I was doing this.   

This is the shower nobody sees, the one in the master bedroom. It’s the one everyone likes to use. If you don’t have company for a while, it could be a month before you clean it.   

As you can see, there is a lot of stuff going on in my shower. Shaving legs, buffing rough skin, shampooing, conditioning, and bailing (I guess that’s what the bucket is for) are all events happening in that little 3x3 cubicle.  

I count 21 bottles or items in my shower. There are no empty bottles. There is at least one application of stuff in each bottle. I asked my wife if we needed everything that belonged to her in the shower. She said yes, like I didn’t know what that answer would be. If I chuck the stuff it will just be replaced with a new bottle, so why bother.  

So I got 21 things in my shower. Can anybody beat that, or do all of you out there in blogland keep a tidy shower? 

Kids are so stupid. They can say the dumbest things. I sometimes wonder why I just can’t take them back to the store and exchange them for a good set of steak knives.  

Last night Sherri, Alissa and I went to the movies. Sherri forced me to go see “Because I Said So”; it won’t make my “Chick Flicks I’ll Admit To Liking” list. While driving there the girls wanted to know what I wanted to do for my birthday. I jokingly responded by saying that I didn’t want to do anything. Sherri told Alissa I was upset that I was getting old. My darling daughter says, “ Daddy don’t be sad, 43 is almost 100 and you are not even dead yet!”

OK, I was thinking about my last entry, and think I have more to say! This time about the one time I was on the receiving end of a comment that I wasn’t too sure about. This happened about a month ago. It came from one of the millions of bloggers that like to incorporate coffee into their screen name.

This is the comment, Okay, very cool name....bitchin' Tagline, too!! Now about the rest...please kick it up a few notches or pull the plug.  

My skin is pretty thick, so the comment itself didn’t really bother me. I was just curious how he would like me to kick it up a notch, so I visited his site. His site had no entries, just the usual intro to a new site, but he did have a few comments. Mostly from people he had pissed off. I wasn’t going to go down that route. I will just wait a few days and see what is so special about his site.  

I just got around to that tonight. This coffee drinking pie hole has gone private. WTF is that? Dude goes around dogging everyone’s site, but doesn’t have the gonads to be open to the same criticism? Not very good bletiquette…blog etiquette.  

Which brings me to some new questions.  

Is it really a cool screen name? Or does the picture and name take a while to get used to?  

Mocha Momma asked me to take off the costume once. I do have a few pictures of me floating around on my sites, so its not like I’m hiding behind the mask, but maybe the mask should disappear.  

I know some bloggers make it a point not to post pictures of themselves. That’s cool, I understand, but I like to put a face on the friends I have made on-line.

 

I have been blogging for almost a year. I intended my blog to be a spot for my baseball buddies to come to and talk a little trash, make trade offers, and keep in touch. That was quickly nuked by MSN because none of my buddies use MSN. I had no idea none of my friends could comment. Doy!  

So I went out and made some friends in the MSN world! MSN Premium was part of my DSL package and I was going to use it, damn it! I have almost gotten over that attitude. I am thinking about just posting on my Blogger page, at least everyone can comment there.

I found the best way to make friends was to comment on the pages that I would visit. I really enjoy leaving comments! I like it as much as I do posting entries.

 I never bag on another person’s blog, but I can be kind of a smart ass or just gross. About a week ago I left a comment on a ladies blog that may have been shocking for someone who doesn’t know me, but I couldn’t stop my fingers from typing. This woman was talking about birthday ideas for her husband and that a Maglite flashlight was a good gift one year. She described it like this, “It's black, heavy, masculine, totally impractical, in short it's perfect." What I really wanted to say was that it sounded like a birthday gift to her, but I toned it down to just, “I won’t comment on "It's black, heavy, masculine, totally impractical, in short it's perfect." I’ll just leave that to people who know you better. I even included a smiley. J No Response. I almost always get a reply. Did I piss her off? I hope not. Doesn’t everyone know that Malathionman is the master of snappy comments?  

So what is good blog etiquette?  If someone leaves you a comment, is leaving a comment on his or her blog the proper thing to do? A lot of people just comment on comments in the comment section. Is that how it is done?

 What about music? If someone has a music player, do you play it? Is it annoying when the music plays automatically? I really like music, am I rude to make you listen to what I like?

 And what about those snappy comments? Is there a comment “courting time” before you can make an indirect adult toy reference?

 

 

 

 

This weekend is the AT&T Pebble Beach National ProAm. If you asked 100 golfers to name 3 courses they wanted to play most, I bet Pebble Beach shows up on 90% of those lists.  I have played there twice. That’s one of the great things about Pebble Beach; it’s a public course.  

Television doesn’t do justice to the true toughness of the course. T.V. tends to flatten a golf course. As a viewer, you can’t tell just how hilly a course is. Another toughness factor at Pebble Beach is the weather. I was lucky; the weather was perfect both times I played there.  

I think the toughest hole for me was a par 4, hole #8. You cannot imagine just how tough it is unless you play it. The tee shot is completely blind. It is a shot that is up a hill and you cannot see the other side. When I played there, there was a sign on the tee box that said 200 yards to the ravine. Look at the picture, that ravine is a freaking canyon! Your second shot will have to be over that canyon, it will be about another 200 yards, and the green is the size of a postage stamp. So in short, you want to hit it as far as possible off the tee, but not too far, or you will go in the “ravine.” Then if you want to go for the green, you need to hit your best long iron or metal wood to a tiny little green.  

If you are not a golfer you may not truly appreciate this post, but if you are a golfer, Pebble Beach is a “do-able” thing. The Monterey Peninsula is a beautiful place and there are lots of things to do for non-golfers.

I am off work every other Monday, today I am off work. The kids are at school and my wife is at work. Sounds like I should be golfing! Wrong, too much to do around the house! Obviously my wife has not been keeping up with her wifely duties! Just kidding, just kidding.  

One of the things I have to try and get caught up on is the laundry. Laundry in my house is never ending. We have burned out two washers and one dryer since we adopted the kids 6 years ago.  

I hate doing laundry. I catch a break on it a little because Sherri forbids anyone to touch her laundry. She says we have ruined too many things of hers and that it has cost us more than $1000.00 to replace the stuff that has been lost. Good thing she does the bills because I always wonder how we manage to replace those things.  

Actually I don’t mind doing my laundry, its doing Austin’s (11 year old son) laundry. I sometimes think I would rather clean up dog puke. You have to go through all the pockets, or who knows what you are going to wash. Rocks, crayons, coupons, flowers, a tampon, these are all things I have found in his pockets or have washed. Then there is the nasty underwear that I always have to pull apart from his pants because he can’t seem to be able to take off the pants first, then his underwear. Maybe he does this because whenever he does get the underwear off it ends up on the floor, where the dogs get them. They like to eat the skid marks; I guess it’s like a dog delicacy, better than the regular crap that they eat in the backyard.    

Have a nice day, and if you don’t already do this, think of me next time you are cleaning up dog puke, dirty underwear, or watching your pouch eat that last steamy morsel in the yard. 

… nothing to talk about but puke. I was not selected for a jury toady. My civic duty has been served this year. So my post today is about dog vomit. 

 Last night as I was finishing off another one of my bitchin blog entries, Mia my female dachshund, walks up to the desk and leaves a barf deposit at my feet. Why she thought I needed to partake in its steamy hot goodness I don’t know. There is nothing like that warm feeling in your hand as you clean up fresh dog puke, unless of course your are cleaning up fresh dog diarrhea. That would be later in the night.  

Apparently the trouble making brother and sister team of Splinter and Mia had been up to no good earlier in the day. Sherri had informed me that the two of them had some how eaten an entire lemon cake. I would guess Mia had eaten most of it by the size of her belly. Splinter must have knocked it off of the kitchen table, while Mia eagerly waited below. I know this because we have seen Splinter on the kitchen table before. If you leave a chair pulled out just a little, he will be on the tabletop checking things out.

When Sherri had got home from picking up Alissa from school, all that was left of the cake was an empty container on the floor.  

It reminds me of the dachshunds in The Ugly Dachshund. I have always had these dogs as pets, and they have always been little troublemakers. That’s probably why I like them so much.